Difficult Conversations Part 2: Having the Conversation
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Idea 1:
Get yourself right
1.Calm and clear your mind. 2. Have strategies for when you're getting derailed 3. Review your "How I want to be"
Idea 2:
Make it safe and keep it safe.
Idea 3:
Understand what info/evidence I have. What are facts? What are assumptions?
How to...
First Get Yourself Right
Tip 1: Calm and clear your mind
Tip 2: Be prepared to be triggered. And have a plan for how to get back on track.
Think of being on a highway. You have a destination in mind. Then, you see a sign and you take an unexpected detour.
You will probably have unexpected detours. Plan in advance--how will you notice that you are no longer on the track that you'd expected? How will you get back?
Tip 3: Review your watchwords. Review your core values. Prime yourself to who and how you want to be.
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How to...
Make the conversation feel safe. And keep it safe.
Idea 1: Pause before every statement. Remind yourself of what's most important in this conversation.
Remember what happens when we're under stress, feel threatened, are angered. It starts a chemical reaction in a person's body.
Idea 2: Be on the lookout for triggers or signs of distress.
Remember what happens when we're under stress, feel threatened, are angered. It starts a chemical reaction in a person's body.
Remembering...
Your truth is not the truth. Their truth is not the truth.
Idea 1: Understand your evidence. Understand the counterevidence.
Super simple: Spend about five minutes writing them down.
Pick a time to do it, and leave a reminder.
Idea 2: Understand their evidence. Explore the counterevidence.
Super simple: Spend about five minutes writing them down.
Pick a time to do it, and leave a reminder.