Difficult Conversations Part 2: Having the Conversation

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Idea 1:

Get yourself right

1.Calm and clear your mind. 2. Have strategies for when you're getting derailed 3. Review your "How I want to be"

Idea 2:

Make it safe and keep it safe.

Idea 3:

Understand what info/evidence I have. What are facts? What are assumptions?

How to...

First Get Yourself Right

Tip 1: Calm and clear your mind


Tip 2: Be prepared to be triggered. And have a plan for how to get back on track.

Think of being on a highway. You have a destination in mind. Then, you see a sign and you take an unexpected detour.

You will probably have unexpected detours. Plan in advance--how will you notice that you are no longer on the track that you'd expected? How will you get back?

Tip 3: Review your watchwords. Review your core values. Prime yourself to who and how you want to be.

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How to...

Make the conversation feel safe. And keep it safe.

Idea 1: Pause before every statement. Remind yourself of what's most important in this conversation.

Remember what happens when we're under stress, feel threatened, are angered. It starts a chemical reaction in a person's body.

Idea 2: Be on the lookout for triggers or signs of distress.

Remember what happens when we're under stress, feel threatened, are angered. It starts a chemical reaction in a person's body.

See examples


Remembering...

Your truth is not the truth. Their truth is not the truth.

Idea 1: Understand your evidence. Understand the counterevidence.

Super simple: Spend about five minutes writing them down.

Pick a time to do it, and leave a reminder.

Idea 2: Understand their evidence. Explore the counterevidence.

Super simple: Spend about five minutes writing them down.

Pick a time to do it, and leave a reminder.

Remembering...

It takes as long as it takes.