Ditching Your Ego

Can put ego aside and and say I made a mistake, I apologize, I a correcting the beahvior

The most common characteristics:

Move and Nurture their bodies

Move and nurture

Common Activity #1...

They think "me and we"

The trouble with thinking about "me" too much.

Too much focus on "me" leads us to suffer. Our egos and our thoughts are evolutionarily wired for the negative. How does that show up? Something good happens and then you feel great. Something bad happens and then you feel terrible. It's a roller-coaster.

The trouble with thinking about "we" too much.

Thinking about (and working toward) the greater good can help you find meaning and joy. At the same time, you have to ensure that you have the fundamentals to keep you going: Rest, movement, nutrition, and love. If you don't fill your tank, you will run out of gas.

One more thing to consider: When you do something for someone, ask yourself which of these is more true?

  1. I'm doing this because I don't want them to be disappointed with me. Or I want them to like me more.

  2. I'm doing this because it is helpful to them, and helping other people brings me joy.

If the first statement is more true, you might be in "people pleaser" mode.

How do you find a healthy balance between "me" and "we"?

How do you create a "me and we" mindset?

Here are a few rules of thumb:

  1. Your time, energy, and money are your most limited resources. You need to make deliberate choices about how you spend them.

  2. Put your oxygen mask on first.

Common Activity #2

They make and nurture good relationships

Good relationships make us happier, period.

The "Connection" section of jomanity focuses on the skills for making and nurturing good relationships.

Common Activity #3...

They look for meaning bigger than themselves.

How do people find meaning?

Common Activity #4...

They are good at finding the good.

What does "finding the good" mean?

Link to gratitudes.

Common Activity #5...

They find meaningful work.

What is meaningful work?

The "Connection" section of jomanity focuses on the skills for making and nurturing good relationships.

Doesn't money buy happiness?


Common Activity #5...

They do leisure activities.

What counts as a leisure activity?


How about screen time


Resources and Citations

  1. "Empirical findings... self-reported happiness and life satisfaction... The consistent and perhaps surprising result is that most people in most circumstances most of the time score above the scale midpoint, whether they are multimillionaires in the United States or pavement dwellers in Calcutta... Robust correlates: Number of friends; Being married; Being extroverted; Being grateful; Being religious; Pursuing leisure activities; Employment (not income)... Having good relationships with other people is the most important contributor to a satisfied life and may even be a necessary condition for happiness. Having a "best friend" at work is a strong predictor of satisfaction and even productivity. A good relationship is one in which the amount of positive communication considerably outweighs the amount of negative communication." Sadock, Benjamin J., et al. Kaplan and Sadock's Synopsis of Psychiatry: Behavioral Sciences/Clinical Psychiatry. United States, Wolters Kluwer Health, 2014.: