Getting Outside of Your Own Head... And Finding More Joy

Here are a few ways to free yourself from yourself.

Connect with Others


Build a Spirit of Generosity. This really works.

For some of us, this seems counterintuitive. but generosity--in the way we act and what we do, is really fulfilling.

You need to find a balance of me and we. Myself and others. That balance will change, but it's rare to have 100% focus internally or 100% focus externally.

What does a spirit of generosity look like? Here are a few examples from the jomanity community:

Spend Time on Hobbies. Do Things you Enjoy.

Why do we put off the things that are really fun. Where we're focused, we're immersed in creating or exploring or just being.

We tend to put off things that we enjoy. Do them. It's good for your mind and soul.

A few things to consider:

  • Hobbies that we do for the fun of doing them: Not for fame or fortune, just for fun. Playing music, walking, tidying, basketball, chatting, baking, gardening, knitting, woodworking, fishing, surfing, and a million other things.

  • Be aware of escapism.

Take Some Time Off.

To-do lists are like laundry. They are never done. Even when it seems done, more laundry (or to-do work) is being created.

Taking a break lets you come back fresher, wiser, more joyful, and more peaceful. You will be smarter. You will be more focused.

If you are exhausted, grumpy, a negative Nelly, worn out, or burnt out, a break will let you reset. It will let you step back and see the wondrous and gift of being alive.

Dubious? Try it. Sincerely try it.

Resources and Citations

  1. "Four ways in which a person can respond to someone else when something happens, including good events such as a raise at work: (1) Active-constructive responding--an enthusiastic response: "That's great; I bet you'll receive many more raises."; (2) Active-destructive responding--a response that points out the potential downside: "Are they going to expect more of you now?"; (3) Passive constructive responding--a muted response: "That's nice dear."; Passive-destructive responding-- a response that conveys disinterest: "It rained all day here." ... Couples who use active-constructive responding have good marriages. The other responses, if they dominate are associated with marital dissatisfaction. Although this research has only been done in the context of marriage, it may well generalize to other relationships." Sadock, Benjamin J., et al. Kaplan and Sadock's Synopsis of Psychiatry: Behavioral Sciences/Clinical Psychiatry. United States, Wolters Kluwer Health, 2014.
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